Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Girls....that word might conjure up some thoughts like drama queens, squabbles, cattiness, and on and off relationships. Girls will be girls right? I mean we have all been there, the one not included in a group, the odd girl out. It's no fun but it can change as quickly as the weather. One day no one is talking to you the next they are your best friend. It's just part of being a girl right? You get through it. Your mom always said tomorrow will be better. They will be your friend again. I have said those very same words to my daughter. I've dismissed those complaints about friends as girls just being girls. I mean she is only in 3rd grade how could it be that bad. Don't they save the really mean stuff for middle school? I know better than that though. So my sixth sense kicked in and I just knew something was going on with gigi and her friends. She would say little things here and there. I assured her things would get better and tried to arm her with every tactic to handle mean girls. I secretly prayed that things would smooth over quickly. Then I went to gigi's class to watch her star in a play. It was very fun and all the kids did a great job. I noticed after the play that none of the girls were talking to her. Some were gathered in groups taking pictures with each other, sharing hugs and secrets, but gigi was quietly standing by my side. She would give a meek smile when someone said good job. She even tried to give a couple of girls kudos for their parts in the play. I knew something was wrong. After school the two of us headed off to gymnastics. In the car I decided to ask how the friend thing was going. She gave a weak, okay and then the tears started to fall. Mom, I just don't understand why A is being mean to me. C told me that B was having a birthday party and had an invitation for me. A told B not to invite me so she threw away the invitation. In that moment I actually felt my heart break right inside of my chest. What on earth could possibly cause someone to want to hurt my girl. How could her "friends" be so mean. I sucked it up and asked her if she had done anything, her adamant no told me she was telling the truth. I explained to her that sometimes people just decide to be mean. Sometimes we do absolutely nothing to them. We headed for the ice cream shop and had a nice chat about friendship. Once a smile was back on her face I dropped her at gymnastics and cried all the way home. Trust me I have dealt with mean girls and I can hang with the best of them but let me tell you, there is nothing like watching your girl make her own way in life. I felt like someone had stomped on my heart. Once I pulled it together I called A's mom to help me get to the bottom of the whole thing. We are now on the other side of this bump in the road. I wish I could say that it was a big mistake and those girls were not being mean. The birthday thing was true. They did it. They apologized and really had no reason for what they did. I think that gigi has tried to forgive and move on. I have tried to do the same. So what did we learn from this, well really what did I learn from this? I am thankful for this beautiful girl God gave me. I am beginning to realize the influence that I will have on her life and it scares me just a tiny bit. I have learned to pray for wisdom because when those big brown eyes are searching mine for answers I want to have the right thing to say. She is only in 3rd grade but we have already had to cover the rules of girl world and how to survive. So what will I do the next time she encounters mean girls. Well, I will refrain from running them over with my car and we will head down to the ice cream shop to discuss the mystery of girl world and I know that at the end of the day, she will have a smile on her face again.