Friday, January 30, 2015

I was challenged to a blog post today.  My poor little blog has been left in the dust since facebook and instagram came on the scene.  We've become a world of "insta" so who has time to sit around and wait for a blog post to pop up.  Oh and you would actually have to go to the blog to check the post instead of getting a nice little reminder on your phone that says who liked your photo or commented on your post or liked a comment you made or liked a picture you liked or commented on a post you commented on or started following you.  God forbid you miss that stuff, it's important. I'll admit there is part of me that likes the "insta" in life.  I mean your keurig can spit out a fresh cup of joe in 30 seconds or less, my flat iron heats up in 20 seconds, my convection oven cooks in half the time, and I can fast forward through commercials on my DVR.    "Insta" is good but I will admit I have a love hate relationship with it.  Sometimes parts of me screams to slow down.  Everything is to fast!  Oh my little iphone can let me know what's on my calendar, what all my friends are doing, and what the weather is in a flash.  It keeps me connected, so why do I feel so disconnected?  I know where you ate dinner last night and that your kids are playing tball, your power is out, and your pissed at your mother in law but I haven't actually spoken to you in weeks, months,even years.  I see your pictures and think that your family is beautiful and that you are a great mom and I miss you but I just hit the thumbs up button.  I pretty sure you don't know that I think all those things about you.  So is facebook and instagram and twitter and pinterest really doing us any good?  I don't know.  That's my love hate problem and what about how it effects me?  I see all the post and think wow, these people really have it together and then it creeps in.  You know what I'm talking about the doubt, the fear, the insecurities.  You know what I mean, omg, should my kids be in a club sport too, I haven't made it to the gym in years, my kids not in AP classes, my friend didn't take me out for a fabulous birthday dinner, how the heck did they pay for that fabulous family vacation and how the heck did they get their kids to pose for that amazing picture.  We've all been there.  I remind myself that they probably just finished yelling at each other and not all kids have to do sports, and they have a muffin top just like me, and my friends still like me even though they did not plan a fabulous birthday dinner for me but still that question creeps in, am I enough? Do I matter?  We all struggle with this question in some way and I have to remind myself that I am enough and I do matter.  God created me with a purpose and a plan.  He has plans for me to prosper me.  Maybe those plans don't include club sports or national merit scholar kids.  Maybe they don't include an amazing new house or dream job.  They do include some amazing friends and family.  They include me getting to be a mom to two of the most amazing kids ever.  In my tiny little corner of the world I am making a difference.  It might be making school lunches, washing clothes, driving kids around town, editing papers and listening to friend problems but it's important to the people around me.  It makes a difference to them.  I still long to slow down.  I think about how my mom would pop over the neighbors house to catch up and drink coffee.  Part of me wishes that we still lived in that world.  For now I will continue my love hate relationship with social media.  I still want to see what everyone is doing.  I would like to try harder to have real facetime with my friend rather than living in the virtual world.  To connect and find out what is really going on rather than what perfectly planned post is on your page.  Yes, I will try to write on my blog more even if that is so 2008 ago.