Wednesday, September 2, 2009
I am a perfectionist, yes I will admit it. I can’t just let something go it has to be perfect. Ask anyone, my husband, my kids, my mom…they will all tell you that I am a perfectionist. Sometimes I love it other times I dread it. There are bare walls in my house with no art because I cannot find the perfect piece and I don’t want to just stick something on the wall. I have repainted, resewn, and revamped many an item because it was not just the way I wanted it. Yeah, seems like a lot of work but once it is perfect, I am happy. If I leave it I just see all the imperfections and it drives me nuts. I will admit though it is tough being perfect especially with a house full of kids, family, dog, cats, rabbit, pigs, life. I have learned to overlook a lot to keep my sanity and occasionally I stop and ask myself…does this really matter? Who cares if the beds aren’t made or stacks of clean laundry sit in the laundry room…life will go on and it does. The world does not fall off it’s axis and we all manage to survive but have you ever experienced perfect imperfection? You know where you plan for everything to be just so and it doesn’t work out yet somehow the moment is perfect? Things fall into place in a way that you would have never imagined they could. I love these moments. They keep me humble and human and help me to remember that I really have absolutely no control over this world or my life. I try but in the end…no control! This week was one of those weeks. I planned, prepped, and prepared the best I could for the first day of school. Lunches packed, backpacks filled, clothes laid out, alarms set, bedtime stories, and goodnight kisses. I even reminded myself to set out the camera for those first day of school pictures. The morning went smoothly and we all made it out the door in time, excited, happy, anticipating that first day and guess what, yep not one photo. I check facebook that night and everyone is posting pics of the kiddos smiling with their new school attire. What did I have….nothing. Nothing but lots of hugs and kisses before the bell rang, a million mom I am going to miss you’s, and two will you please come see me at recesses….see perfect imperfection….who could ask for more. So, maybe today or tomorrow I will break out the camera and get 4th day of school pictures but for now I will cherish the fact that they will miss me and yes, I will go peek on them at recess.