Mom of a teenager

It finally happened, I looked away for a moment and my little boy became a teenager. It seems impossible. I remember holding him and thinking about what life would be like when he became a teenager. It seemed so far away. I must have heard a hundred times how I needed to cherish every moment and not take a second for granted. Yeah right. How do you do that when you are up to your eyeballs in diapers, sippy cups, runny noses, and sleepless nights? I thought it would never end. Somewhere along the way the fog lifted and I began to enjoy being a mom. Now here I am on the downhill side of motherhood. Instead of counting down the years until he starts school I am counting the years until he graduates. Instead of wishing that he would just be old enough to.... I am wishing he wasn't old enough to.... Instead of begging time to just move a little quicker to nap or bedtime I want to stop that clock. I want it to stop erasing that little boy from his face and replacing it with a man. Just for a moment I want to smell those sweet curls and rub that chubby baby cheek against mine. Sometimes he asks why I look at him a certain way. He doesn't understand that just for a moment I catch a glimpse of that little boy that I miss. He is independent, confident, and ready to soar. He is entering one of the most exciting times of life. I will sit and listen and try not to hover to much. I will cheer him on even though my heart is breaking just a tiny bit. I know he will be great. Happy 13th sweet boy!

Winter

Well, it's technically been winter in Kerbyville for a while now, it just hasn't felt that way. We did not have a drop of precipitation in December and it was hanging around 50 degrees. Sounds nice but it's not when you live in the high desert. You need water in the winter because the hot summer days dry you out in no time. Winter decided to show up this past week. It has been raining or snowing non-stop for the past 5 days. The mountains went from nothing to about 4 feet of snow in 5 days. My skis are hanging in the garage quietly calling out my name. Time to break those puppies out, but when? Soon I hope. Sometime soon I hope to be gracefully swooshing down a hill feeling the wind in my face and leaving all my cares behind. Sounds fun! See you soon snow!

What is it about watching your 12 year old sons shove cookie dough into his mouth that feels so satisfying. I know that sounds a little weird but as I made cookies with gig tonight, my (not so) little man came into the kitchen from his daily hike. His nose perked up and he immediately grabbed a spoon and shoved a big ol scoop of cookie dough right into his mouth. You could see the sheer pleasure on his face, my heart was full. I thought about it and realized it was more than just cookies. He is growing so fast and is only 2 weeks away from being an official teenager. We are up to it in eye rolls, ughhh moms, I know, I knows, and mood swings. We are monitoring Internet use, texting, cell calls, and female stalkers. All things little boy have disappeared from our house but in that moment when his face lit up from the cookie dough, I caught just a glimps of the little boy that is fading so quickly. My heart was happy. All that teenage bravado and independence melted away and he was my little boy eating cookie dough. Slow down clock, I want to keep him little for just a few more moments........