Surrender

Ever have those moments when God just whispers in your ear? That tiny quite thought that makes you stop right in your tracks? It's amazing and surreal all at the same time. We often keep those moments to ourselves. I mean if you go walking around telling everyone God spoke to you, you might be crazy right? Well, sometimes I think those moments should be shared. I had a moment like that today. I was sitting at the bus stop with my little man this morning. It was a typical morning when I noticed he had a pocket New Testament with him. I asked him what he was doing with it and he said he was taking it to school. "I can do that right mom". I said of course you can. Students have the right to take a Bible if they want to. he slipped it into the side pocket of his cargo shorts and gave his leg a pat. I thought, how nice it was and felt as if it would protect him. That's when it happen. A tiny voice that said, "What if I call him"? My heart stopped. I know there are some that might see this as a privilege or honor and I am going to be honest that was not my first thought. It was Lord, really? Why him? but God he is mine. God answered right back with no, he is Mine. I knew He was right but it still made my heart ache a little and all for selfish reasons. When he was a baby I prayed God would have him, protect him, use him but he was so tiny and it seemed a million years away before that would ever happen. In the blink of an eye hear we are 12 years later and my years left with him are becoming shorter. I thought of Hannah taking Samuel to the temple and giving him to God. I will be honest I am thankful I was not asked to do that. I thought of the sacrifice made and the sacrifices to be made. Do I think that God is going to call my son? I have no idea but that little question sure made me see that he is not mine. God has a plan for his life that is out of my control. I can guide him, teach him, pray for him, love him, and enjoy every minute of him but in the end he belongs to God. So today I had to make a quite surrender. I had to give him to God.